Hi prenships! I know I’ve already made a brief account of my vacation, but indulge me (please?) this moment to tell you a bit more (“more” being the operative word). I thought that by this time I would be over this euphoric (over!) state …but I realize that I hope I never get over this feeling and here’s why.
When I was making plans to go to the US of A, Hawaii was farthest from my mind. Firstly, because all I knew about Hawaii was that it’s surrounded by beaches…and I DON’T LIKE GOING TO THE BEACH!!!! Secondly...well, I just don’t like going to the beach! I had set my mind to going to either Michigan or LA where I knew I would be having fun because I would be among close friends. I came across a few hassles while planning for the Michigan or LA trip but I was insistent…and being stubborn about it (and to say that I’m stubborn and strong-willed is an understatement). Besides, the invitation to visit hawaii was issued a few years back by my mom’s close friends. They’re nice folks and good family friends but I had not seen nor spoken to them in yeeeears. And I wanted to be among friends and young people my own age (yeah, right!).
But a short email message sent by one of my bosses kept creeping up on me. In it she had said that “we are where we should be”. I have heard and read this line (or a version of it) a number of times like in a poem by St. Therese, in books, etc., but it was at this particular time in my life that it stuck and held meaning. So I decided to embrace it, to allow it to guide me and to just go with the flow…to trust that God is indeed in control.
My sister recalled the long-ago-issued invitation to Hawaii and I, braced with this new attitude, tried giving Hawaii a go and emailed the family just to see how things will go…and everything just went from there. I didn’t know what to expect from the trip. I wasn’t too excited about it because…well, have I mentioned that I don’t like the beach!? Little did I know that the trip held something much, much, more than fun and excitement. Sure I had those too, but the long stretches of beaches and lush mountains became something much more than sights to behold - they became symbols of love and forgiveness….God’s love and forgiveness. Every rainbow and sunset was a stamp of His overflowing generosity for us. It was like God was holding me tight and said that He will never let go. He has and will always carry me. I know all this may sound too much or dramatic, but that’s how it was for me.
A friend, after seeing my pictures of the flowers and the waters and the trees and the mountains, asked if I didn’t get bored in Hawaii . True, there were no theme parks or exciting rides and sprawling malls or casinos or amusement and gaming centers to go to….but how can I be bored when everyday I wake up in awe of the beauty of God’s creation? I found a renewed and overwhelming sense of gratitude and appreciation for life. Every moment there was like a prayer and a dialogue with God….whether I was doing my daily run or whale watching or merely basking under the sun.
I’m a worrywart and this letting go stuff is unfamiliar territory. So I asked Him to be patient with me as I learn to totally trust and just go with His flow.
Now I’m back home and back at work. I don’t know what’s in store for me or where I am headed and it scares me, but I pray that I am exactly where I should be and doing exactly what I should be doing. I’m learning the ropes to joyfully letting go and letting God. I pray that I can go with the flow and that it is God’s flow I’m going with.
To my “teacher” who sent the email message that was to become a lesson and to my “encouragers” who egged me on to just trust and brave the unknown …thanks!
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