Beyond this lifetime (a mother's love part 2 / maui experience 4th installment)

Maui, Hawaii. They say what happens in Vegas - well, in my case, Hawaii - stays in Hawaii. I'm going to tell you anyway.

A year has passed since my vacay in Hawaii. The few family and friends who knew of my travel plans wished me one thing - that I find Mr. Right (or rather Mr. Right Now) or that he find me, whichever comes first. They were clear and specific and adamant about it.

My life mentor's wish for me, however, was more...cryptic. Double-edged, if you will. Prophetic even. In her e-mail, she wrote, "May you find what you're looking for..." I knew she meant something (or someone) else but what I found was more than what I bargained for. Her wish was a prayer answered...

It was a gloriously sunny day, like most days, in Maui. And like most days during my two-week vacay, I went for runs along the sloping streets of the gated community in Wailuku. That day, however, I went for a long, slow walk with Inang.

Inang was my "Tita" Tessie's mother. Family called her Mamang but I called her Inang. She was old and skinny and wrinkly and forgot things, like most old folks. But she was such a sweet granny. When we're left alone in the house, we'd share long talks - well, she'd usually do all the talking mostly about her life during the war, her Japanese father, growing up and her family.

That day, as I geared up for my daily run, I saw Inang looking on so I asked her if she wanted to join me for a walk. With a smile that brightened the room, she readily agreed and hurriedly went to her room to change.

As I went out of the house to wait, I wondered if Inang was the reason I was led to Hawaii. I uttered a short prayer and asked God, "Lord, is SHE mommy? Will I get a chance to do things with mom, through Inang, that I wanted and would've and could've and should've done with her? Will I get a chance to hold mom one last time? Will I get to know if she has forgiven me? If she even knew how I cared for her?"

The moment I whispered my last bit of prayer, I saw Inang coming out of the house with long purposeful strides towards me. She came to a stop right before me, looked me in the eye and said, "Anak, salamat ha...salamat sa pagalaga mo sa 'kin." It was my mom. And with those simple words, she gave me what I needed. Atonement. Absolution. Forgiveness.

I choked back tears. A lump formed in my throat and I couldn't speak. Arm in arm, Inang...or was it Mom...and I went on to what was to become our routine - long, slow walks along the streets of that small community in Maui.

No, I didn't find Mr. Right (Now)...I found something better...more than I bargained for...more than I deserved. I found what I was looking for. I found healing.

I told only three people about this when I got back from my trip - my sister, my life mentor and my spiritual teacher. I wanted to relish and cherish this amazing experience all to myself. But, after more than a year, I find myself still at awe at the remembrance of it, wanting to shout out God's ever merciful goodness and the force of a mother's love - beyond measure, beyond compare, beyond this lifetime.

John 14:27-28. 'I am leaving you with a gift: peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn't fragile like the peace the world gives.. So don't be troubled or afraid. Remember what I told you: I am going away, but I will come back to you again. If you really love me, you will be very happy for me, for now I can go to the Father...

filipinos abroad - maui experience (3rd installment)

Hi prenships! Here’s the 3rd installment of my maui experience series (hope you're not sick of it yet).

Before I went to Hawaii, I had thought that the art of wearing a flower behind the ear and wearing floral shirts and dresses were just cultural or traditional thingy much like our Filipiniana dresses and exquisitely designed barong tagalogs ( I mean I don’t know about you, but I only see Filipinianas worn during cultural or special events like weddings). But I was wrong… the locals in Hawaii wore floral dresses and gowns and shirts all the time.

And the art of wearing a flower behind the ear? I thought it was just that – art …as in “ka-artehan”. But the women wore it and I found it lovely and fascinating. So I started wearing a flower behind my ear whenever possible. I first wore a flower behind my right ear. But my hair kept getting in the way and falling all over the flower, eventually covering it all up.

So I started wearing a flower behind my left ear.

I thought I looked cool (and sometimes funny) and blended in with the locals. Sure I did but wearing it behind my left ear was a BIG mistake!!! I didn’t know that wearing it meant something… on the left ear, it means you are married, engaged or with someone; on the right ear you are free. Gosh! Now at least I have something to blame for my lack of “hunting” success in Hawaii …hehehe. It was fun though….like playing dress-up.

Incidentally, let me tell you my realization that we Filipinos are so Filipinos more so when we’re abroad (and for those who’ve been abroad, especially in the US of A, you know what I’m talking about). I mean, you can spot a Filipino a mile away in an airport. How? She’d be standing beside four balikbayan boxes…at least. I was in Hawaii for more than 2 weeks and I didn’t think I would need one, right? Well, I was stubborn enough not to put my stuff in a balikbayan box and I ended up with two pieces of broken luggage…as in one luggage lost two of its wheels and broke its handle (that’s how heavy my stuff was) while the other one…well you just have to see it. So heed to the wisdom of using a balikbayan box.

Most Filipinos hate the sun, don't you agree?. I probably stood out in Hawaii….because while everyone else was basking in the sun, I was under a tree or shade. And if I had to walk some distance to go to a store or a scenic spot, I’d go running like my life depended on it. People probably thought I was crazy (well, they wouldn’t be far off their guess).

And while we were on a beach, my “tita” and I started collecting whitish smooth round just-the-right-size rocks. Right-size rocks for what you ask? What else, for use as scrub in the shower! (Oh you!)

And that’s another thing – we call everybody tito or tita. The Filipinos is one big family!

And I guess we’re the only race in the planet that says “Excuse excuse” when we have to pass in front of the TV or between people. With matching bowed heads and clasped hands. I love it that we’re so courteous.

TFC. I don’t watch teleserye in Manila…I get to watch it (and several times a day at that) when I’m in the US! What else is there to say?

And of course the CR (comfort room). One time, I badly needed to “go” and of course, in my condition I forgot they called CR by a different name (or is it us that calls it by a different name). So I asked where the CR was. The lady looked incredulously and said “What CR?” I looked at her just as incredulously with an expression that said “duh!”

You just gotta love being a Filipino!

maui experience (2nd installment)

Hi prenships! I know I’ve already made a brief account of my vacation, but indulge me (please?) this moment to tell you a bit more (“more” being the operative word). I thought that by this time I would be over this euphoric (over!) state …but I realize that I hope I never get over this feeling and here’s why.

When I was making plans to go to the US of A, Hawaii was farthest from my mind. Firstly, because all I knew about Hawaii was that it’s surrounded by beaches…and I DON’T LIKE GOING TO THE BEACH!!!! Secondly...well, I just don’t like going to the beach! I had set my mind to going to either Michigan or LA where I knew I would be having fun because I would be among close friends. I came across a few hassles while planning for the Michigan or LA trip but I was insistent…and being stubborn about it (and to say that I’m stubborn and strong-willed is an understatement). Besides, the invitation to visit hawaii was issued a few years back by my mom’s close friends. They’re nice folks and good family friends but I had not seen nor spoken to them in yeeeears. And I wanted to be among friends and young people my own age (yeah, right!).

But a short email message sent by one of my bosses kept creeping up on me. In it she had said that “we are where we should be”. I have heard and read this line (or a version of it) a number of times like in a poem by St. Therese, in books, etc., but it was at this particular time in my life that it stuck and held meaning. So I decided to embrace it, to allow it to guide me and to just go with the flow…to trust that God is indeed in control.

My sister recalled the long-ago-issued invitation to Hawaii and I, braced with this new attitude, tried giving Hawaii a go and emailed the family just to see how things will go…and everything just went from there. I didn’t know what to expect from the trip. I wasn’t too excited about it because…well, have I mentioned that I don’t like the beach!? Little did I know that the trip held something much, much, more than fun and excitement. Sure I had those too, but the long stretches of beaches and lush mountains became something much more than sights to behold - they became symbols of love and forgiveness….God’s love and forgiveness. Every rainbow and sunset was a stamp of His overflowing generosity for us. It was like God was holding me tight and said that He will never let go. He has and will always carry me. I know all this may sound too much or dramatic, but that’s how it was for me.

A friend, after seeing my pictures of the flowers and the waters and the trees and the mountains, asked if I didn’t get bored in Hawaii . True, there were no theme parks or exciting rides and sprawling malls or casinos or amusement and gaming centers to go to….but how can I be bored when everyday I wake up in awe of the beauty of God’s creation? I found a renewed and overwhelming sense of gratitude and appreciation for life. Every moment there was like a prayer and a dialogue with God….whether I was doing my daily run or whale watching or merely basking under the sun.

I’m a worrywart and this letting go stuff is unfamiliar territory. So I asked Him to be patient with me as I learn to totally trust and just go with His flow.

Now I’m back home and back at work. I don’t know what’s in store for me or where I am headed and it scares me, but I pray that I am exactly where I should be and doing exactly what I should be doing. I’m learning the ropes to joyfully letting go and letting God. I pray that I can go with the flow and that it is God’s flow I’m going with.

To my “teacher” who sent the email message that was to become a lesson and to my “encouragers” who egged me on to just trust and brave the unknown …thanks!

back from my honeymoon

i'm back! but before you get excited or shocked or confused, i went on vacation in maui, hawaii. it would have been a honeymoon, though, had i found a groom to bring along on the trip. as it happened, i just went by myself so....

nagkagulo sila when i got there! it wasn't because of my arrival though...it was because of the tsunami alert raised after the chile earthquake. galing ng arrive ko noh?!

Maui No Ka 'oi (Maui "the best" in hawaiian terms)! it really is the best! it's paradise! if there's any place i'd recommend you to go to, it's maui. and it's not just the place that was beautiful, but the people also. they were soooooo nice and friendly they made me really at home and at ease even on my first day. you know how people always say when they're about to leave a place that it just seemed like yesterday that they arrived? well, in my case, it seemed that i stayed for months (years even) instead of just over 2 weeks. that's how comfortable and at home the people made me feel.

the standard of living and the cost of items are high though. i guess one pays the price to live in paradise.

got to go whale watching and experienced the luau and saw hula shows. and of course one does not go there and not be amazed by the view of the ocean and the mountains - it was awesome! photos do not and cannot capture the beauty of the place!

hope everyone gets a chance to go and see one of the best islands in the world (as stated in a magazine i read). if you do get a chance to go, places to see in maui are makena beach, wailea, kapalua (it really is beautiful), lahaina, haleakala, wailuku, keanae, hana road (one of the craziest and most beautiful roads in the world), iao valley park, - lahat na nga! one has to see the whole island!

aloha!