better than sex

A couple of months ago, one of our travels for work took us to Iloilo for a seminar-workshop. There, I met some pretty awesome people who were nice and funny and had loads of stories to share. By the end of our dinner during our last day of the workshop, we were still pumped up. So they invited me out for a taste of the nightlife in Iloilo. Off we went to Smallville which was Iloilo's version of Libis' Eastwood.

The hangout place was smaller and less crowded but just like in Libis, it had bars and restos and cafes. But to my surprise, it did not have a Starbucks branch...nor anywhere else in Iloilo for that matter. They had, however, the Coffeebreak Cafe where we took our after dinner coffee and dessert. Aside from coffee, the cafe offered a variety of cakes and pastries but one cake stood out like a sore thumb...well its name at least. The cake was called "better than sex". Since I've never had a taste of the real thing, I thought I'd give this one a go and see how it fares.

It was moist rich chocolate cake covered with white frosting topped with choco bits and laced with caramel syrup (if i remember correctly). The looks of it was enough to keep me panting for a taste and I eagerly did. It was full of flavor and tender and sweet - but then again, I believe so is my "wrong" guy (wink!!). My new Ilonggo friends asked if it indeed was better that sex, I answered, "NO IDEA!!!" As far as chocolates go, I say I've had tastier finds. It wasn’t the mind-blowing, heart-pounding, out-of-this-world, earth-shattering (I would’ve mentioned orgasmic but I wouldn’t know that either) experience I had expected it would be. It rather seemed anti-climactic for me…no pun intended.

“IS THIS IT?” I wonder. If this is it…if this is supposed to be better…if this is better than what the people of all ages talk and blush and squirm about…if this is better than what men and women and the “confused” die and kill for, then I say all that hype about sex is overrated. Many friends have actually made graphic representations of what I'm missing. But if this is all IT…then I ain't missin' a thang, peeps!

You may find my position arguable...but who am I to argue? I know next to nothing about IT, remember? I think I'm better off not knowing what I'm missing...right?...right?

hopia follow up

unbelievable! Of all the things i wrote in my hopia e-mail, one of the things a few friends reacted to was this "guy i saw". I've been asked to make kwento about this. Let my clarify. In my e-mail, i wrote "...this cute guy i saw last weekend...", SAW being the operative word. I didn't go out with him or had dinner with him or even talked to him. I just saw this guy. And how did i see him? Well, i was pakalat-kalat with my sister and her family in ortigas that weekend when i saw this cute guy. The thing is, i saw and passed by him while i was running after my 1 year old pamangkin who had just made poopoo. So for all i know, this guy probably thought i smelled of poo! No chance of me making kerengkeng with that scenario.

kerengkeng update

Hola prenships! Or is it Jola in jejemon? I feel too old and tired for jejemon! But you, my prends, have assured me that one is never too old for kakerengkengan…well, at least the toned down and subtle variety anyway.

First of all, I would like to thank prenships who helped in my quest to join the world of kerengkengs. The response was surprisingly overwhelming. I didn’t know I needed that much help! Or that a lot of my prends have much to say on the matter. I really am such a late bloomer… in everything! (wink wink)

With the numerous replies I received, one common advice was ….smile more often! Do I really look that snotty? (not the nasal mucus kind but the slang lingo kind…as in snobbish) You know, I envy people with naturally smiling faces (or is it smiley faces?). It seems that they have a certain glow that draws people to them. I guess I simply am not one of them. I do try to put on a friendly face and a smile on but I feel like a mental retard with a smile on all the time! I don’t want to look more of an idiot than nature made me. And I feel like I’m developing face muscle cramps. But hey, if kakerengkengan starts with a smile…then smile away it is!

One friend commented for me to just continue with what I have started doing – wearing more girly outfits and shoes. It was then I realized that I have been (I guess subconsciously) for quite sometime making efforts to be more kerengkeng. One time, I attended a dinner party by the pool. The friends I went to the party with were wearing blouses and pants… I was wearing a kind of short-hemmed dress (for a tall girl it would have been a mini-dress or could even pass for a long blouse). They were all surprised and said, in not so many words, that I might just be a bit overdressed. I told them I didn’t care if all the guests were wearing pants or shorts or even bikinis…I WAS GOING TO THE PARTY IN MY DRESS!!! With matching cute wedge heeled sandals of course!

And speaking of shoes, just recently, I was in Edsa Shangrila strutting my butt down the halls of the mall and practicing my friendly smile when I realized another thing - kakerengkengan kills…the feet at least! As I was looking for the resto where I was to attend a dinner party, my smile was slowly turning into grimace. And it was because of these blasted heels! And the dinner was buffet! I have to walk to get food!?!

Kakerengkengan may kill my feet but heck, it’s proving to be fun! ‘til my next update….here’s a kerengkeng smile for you! c yah!

ang kerengkeng, bow!

I sent a shoutout (is that the right term?) on FB regarding flirtations. In it I asked, “at what age can single ladies still make kerengkeng?” I was trying to get a feel on the matter and as it turned out, many of my FB friends were encouraging – that is, encouraging me (and I suppose all single ladies as young as me) to make ‘kerengkeng’ RIGHT NOW! Although many were of the position that there is no age limit for single ladies to endeavor such…ahhh activity, it was deemed wise not to waste precious time lest one turns wrinkly and “kakerengkengan” becomes a nauseous experience for the onlookers.

I have always deemed myself as an artistic individual and I’ve ventured into various forms of arts – performance arts, fine arts, literary arts, the arts of singing and dancing and even a bit of culinary arts, – but I must admit I’m not so keen on the art of flirtation. I guess I don't have the talent (or is it skill) for it. During a discussion of sorts among friends, I was told that I lacked “kakerengkengan”, hence, the state of my love life…or lack of it. Well-meaning friends (and even those not-so-prenships – close tayo?) insist that I should learn and practice making “karengkengan”.

So, now that we have that settled (that I should be making “karengkeng”), the question I have for you now is how. I simply have no idea. This “karengkengan” stuff baffles me. Do I bat my eyelashes as if I just lost my contacts (and I don’t even wear contacts)? Do I wink at a guy until it looks like I have eye tics? Is putting my butt out effective or would it just make me look like I have scoliosis? Thrusting my breasts out? What breasts? And just so you know, stroking or toying with my hair doesn’t work for me – I look like an idiot! And don’t even think about suggesting that I lick my lips or touch my lips/teeth with my tongue – EWWW!

My more conservative friends gave me this piece of advice – “to simply be myself but to smile more”. But “being myself” does not work!!! If it did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place. And I’ve been smiling for so long, my cheeks hurt!

I do go out on dates and it can be exhausting (that doesn’t sound right – no subliminal meaning intended here). Maybe I’m just meant to be “friends” with all my dates (so showbiz!). Maybe I just have to accept the fact that I’m not the “kerengkeng” type…or maybe it’s my friends who need to accept this. Or maybe….just maybe, the right “kerengkeng” move can do the trick. So…any tricks?

P.S. I didn’t post this on fb and just limited it to prenships (and a few not-so-prenships who I think can help…hehehe ). Don't see this as a desperate ploy, i'm just following advice and exploring options (yeah, right!).

dirty finger

I’m giving/showing everyone the dirty finger. That’s right – I’m flashing around the dirty finger and I’ve been doing so this past week….and I’m mighty proud of it! If you haven’t done so (giving everyone the dirty finger, that is), I urge you to do so. It’s a proud moment when you’ve flashed your dirty finger – it means you were involved in the force that’s molding history – you voted!

So here’s a dirty finger to you (well, what’s left of the ‘dirt’ anyway)!

man i'm in love with

prenship, I’m crushed! I’m devastated! I just had to share my anguish. I recently found out…well, it’s more like confirmed… that I’m in love (ok, “in love” may be too strong but “crush” is too juvenile) with a man who’s. . . oh I can’t say it. It actually hurts to say but he’s….let’s just say he’s the “wrong” guy. Somebody get me a drink, please!!!