on mothers

It’s going to be Mother’s Day soon and I’d like to talk about mothers. . . well, my mother in particular. It used to hurt to talk about her even three years after her death. It still does hurt but now I smile more often in remembrance. I guess it has got something to do with the healing I experienced in Hawaii. And as part of my healing process, I thought I’d talk about her (I hope you don’t mind that I’m involving you in my healing process).

I wish every one of my friends (and even virtual strangers) got the chance to meet her. She was fun and funny without meaning to be! Don’t get me wrong – she was quite strict in her Catholic policies with me and my sister. That’s why we (ok, just me) had to be creative about our social (a.k.a. love) lives.

She was also quite an achiever. She never failed to remind us, i guess as a form of motivator, that she was a summa cum laude (I’m not even sure I spelled it right), a scholar, master’s degree holder and PhD of UP (for her there was no better school), and of course a member of UP’s honor society, the Pi Gamma Mu. She's a tough act to follow. So I guess I didn’t even try. She must have wondered many times in her life if we were her children (ok, again, just me)…. she couldn’t fathom why I didn’t have the heart to complete the few remaining units of the master’s degree I wasn’t trying to pursue. If I didn't have her nose, she'd probably declare me a lost and found case.

But she still had her many blooper/funny moments. One time, while she was writing one of her books (did I mention that she authored books, short stories, plays, etc.?) she tried learning to use the computer. When she got stalled with some sort of problem, she called for help. Over the phone, my cousin spelled out instructions – press “Esc” key – done; then press “Enter” – easy enough; then hit the spacebar. My mom went blank “What spacebar? What space? Where is that bar?” She was getting panicky and frustrated. My cousin said it’s the key at the bottom with “spacebar” on it. My mother was short of screaming when she said “What spaaaaacebaaaaar! There is noooooo spaaaacebaaar!” And true enough, there was, and is, no “spacebar” written on the keyboard...or any keyboard for that matter.

I loved and admired mom’s service and love of God and the church. She and my dad were both daily mass goers and were leaders in various religious orgs. My mom had many friends and they were just as hilarious. One time, while on an outing in Pangasinan with some of her friends from church, they were praying the rosary on a boat while island hopping in Hundred Islands. Their prayer went like this: “Hail Mary, full of grace – hey, look, that’s beautiful! … the Lord is with you, blessed are you – wow! Did you see that over there? ….among women and blessed is the – hey! Hey! Hey! (pointing at God knows what). I don’t even know if they finished praying the rosary! They were a blast!

And she was also my number 1 “broker”. She’d be sitting beside a stranger in a lounge or plane or airport and after awhile they’d be friends and swapping stories…and she’d be “selling” me and asking if the new friend had a son who could just be right for me.

God I miss her! I miss arguing with her. I miss going to the mall and watching two movies in one day with her. I miss her friendship. There wouldn’t be anymore fun times and blooper moments with her. I wish … that I had more time with her…that I told her I loved her more often…that I took better care of her…that I listened more…that I was a better daughter. Life with mom was too short…but I’m so grateful and blessed for that time.

For those of you who still have mothers with you, I envy you. Express your love for your moms not just on her birthday or on mother’s day but everyday. I envy my sister and all those brave souls who are not afraid to voice out and express their love. They don’t mind if the loved one doesn’t say the words back. I asked my sister once why she says it all the time. She simply said: “I don’t know what will happen today. There might not be a next time.”

So don’t wait until the next time.... it might be too late (like maybe I did). There might not be a next time. So MYMP (make your mama proud) and give her a big hug and thank her and tell her you love her. She deserves all that.

(Advance) Happy Mother's Day to you mothers and to your mothers.