the case of a mistaken identity

It was a mighty fine night, with fine food and an even finer company. I was having dinner with a friend in one of those little dainty restos in Ortigas. The evening was turning into an enjoyable one when we were distracted by a man in plain white, short-sleeved barong, presumably the security guy of the resto, looking in from the outside. He seemed to be searching for someone in particular. A small crowd of two or three had gathered around him, peering excitedly inside the resto, seemingly staring right at me.

The man in white barong went into the resto and went directly for our table. He came to a stop right beside me, hunched low and whispered, “The people outside are asking if they could have your autograph.”

I stared at him with a questioning look. “What?” I asked, bewildered, wondering if this was a practical joke of some kind.

He gave an awkward smile and explained, “They say you’re Angelique Lazo and would like an autograph, if you please.”

I gave him an equally awkward smile and looked out the window to give the folks an apologetic smile. I told the man in barong, “Hahaha (awkward laugh)…I’m sorry but I’m not Angelique Lazo.” What I really I wanted to say though was, “Huwaaat? Get your eyes checked, people! She’s a lot older than I aaaaaammm!!!” – I think.

For you folks pretending to be young and saying you don’t know her, she was a popular news anchor in the 90’s. (Yes, your mother and I were born in the 1900’s – this is in answer to a question of a friend’s daughter who was shocked to learn that her mother and friends were already alive when the years were in the 19’s).

I've also been compared to Cherry Pie Picache - it must be because of our voluptuous (which is a nicer equivalent for the more appropriate term - mataba) figure. I don't really see us alike but I bet I'd also react the way she did in one of her movies. It went something like this:

Dina: "Bakit...hindi naman ako nagpapagamit!" (or something along that line)

Cherry Pie: "Malandi!"

Dina: "Sugar mommy!"

Cherry Pie: "Social climber!"

Dina: "Mataba!"

Cherry Pie (after a short shocked pause): "Walang ganyanan! Walang personalan! Masyado ka nang nakakasakit nyan e !"

There was also this one time when I was walking along the halls of the office building with a boy friend (drop the shocked look - I meant a friend who happened to be male). He kept giving me side glances so I asked, "Why, what's wrong?"

He answered in an almost fascinated tone, "You seem different these days... para ka nang dalaga."

I gave him a sweet smile with matching "beautiful eyes" as I said my thanks....until realization of what he said dawned on me. I came to a halt, turned to him with a scowl, looked him in the eye and said, "What 'dalaga?' I AM 'DALAGA'!!!"

Well, I guess that's better than being mistaken for a "bading"...right? (Although I have been tagged as "ang babaeng bading" quite a number of times).

Have you been mistaken for somebody else?