ang kerengkeng, bow!

I sent a shoutout (is that the right term?) on FB regarding flirtations. In it I asked, “at what age can single ladies still make kerengkeng?” I was trying to get a feel on the matter and as it turned out, many of my FB friends were encouraging – that is, encouraging me (and I suppose all single ladies as young as me) to make ‘kerengkeng’ RIGHT NOW! Although many were of the position that there is no age limit for single ladies to endeavor such…ahhh activity, it was deemed wise not to waste precious time lest one turns wrinkly and “kakerengkengan” becomes a nauseous experience for the onlookers.

I have always deemed myself as an artistic individual and I’ve ventured into various forms of arts – performance arts, fine arts, literary arts, the arts of singing and dancing and even a bit of culinary arts, – but I must admit I’m not so keen on the art of flirtation. I guess I don't have the talent (or is it skill) for it. During a discussion of sorts among friends, I was told that I lacked “kakerengkengan”, hence, the state of my love life…or lack of it. Well-meaning friends (and even those not-so-prenships – close tayo?) insist that I should learn and practice making “karengkengan”.

So, now that we have that settled (that I should be making “karengkeng”), the question I have for you now is how. I simply have no idea. This “karengkengan” stuff baffles me. Do I bat my eyelashes as if I just lost my contacts (and I don’t even wear contacts)? Do I wink at a guy until it looks like I have eye tics? Is putting my butt out effective or would it just make me look like I have scoliosis? Thrusting my breasts out? What breasts? And just so you know, stroking or toying with my hair doesn’t work for me – I look like an idiot! And don’t even think about suggesting that I lick my lips or touch my lips/teeth with my tongue – EWWW!

My more conservative friends gave me this piece of advice – “to simply be myself but to smile more”. But “being myself” does not work!!! If it did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place. And I’ve been smiling for so long, my cheeks hurt!

I do go out on dates and it can be exhausting (that doesn’t sound right – no subliminal meaning intended here). Maybe I’m just meant to be “friends” with all my dates (so showbiz!). Maybe I just have to accept the fact that I’m not the “kerengkeng” type…or maybe it’s my friends who need to accept this. Or maybe….just maybe, the right “kerengkeng” move can do the trick. So…any tricks?

P.S. I didn’t post this on fb and just limited it to prenships (and a few not-so-prenships who I think can help…hehehe ). Don't see this as a desperate ploy, i'm just following advice and exploring options (yeah, right!).

dirty finger

I’m giving/showing everyone the dirty finger. That’s right – I’m flashing around the dirty finger and I’ve been doing so this past week….and I’m mighty proud of it! If you haven’t done so (giving everyone the dirty finger, that is), I urge you to do so. It’s a proud moment when you’ve flashed your dirty finger – it means you were involved in the force that’s molding history – you voted!

So here’s a dirty finger to you (well, what’s left of the ‘dirt’ anyway)!

meet my sister

hi prenships (and not so prenships)!

this mother's day i would like to honor and have everyone (and i mean everyone including those not in my address book) meet Ma. Emily Samonte-Mariano, my sister. She is fondly called Miles by family and friends...but i insist on calling her Emily. If you haven't had the pleasure of meeting her, then you're missing a lot. She's fun and funny and talented and easygoing and smart and has the gift of gab, so there is no boring moment with her (well, if you know me and are my friend then you'd agree she takes after me ).

But aside from her cool personality, she is the most generous and considerate sister i have (well, actually, she's the only sister i have )... so let me rephrase that...she's the most generous and considerate sister there is. And i'm pretty sure she's just as wonderful a daughter, wife, mother, friend, boss, etc. She never hesitates to help where it is needed and she doesn't ask anything in return. She is not just generous with her gifts but also with her time, patience, compliments, her talents, her resources...and not just with family and friends. The elderly at the home for the aged and the orphans/abandoned children at the Boystown can attest to her generosity. She gives until it hurts.

She loves openly and is not afraid to express it. She has a ready smile and 'thank you' not just to family or friends but to drivers and waiters and janitors and vendors and sales clerks and security guards and delivery boys and the masahista at the spa or the manikurista at the parlor. She treats everyone as her friend and sees everyone as brother/sister in Christ.

Ricky, her husband, is one blessed and lucky son-of-a....mother and father (hehehe). But I believe that because my sister has been kindhearted and God-loving/fearing, God has chosen to bless her with a sister like me ....este! husband like Ricky.

this mother's day, i would like to honor and thank Emily, my sister, for....everything. Why?because I don't have a gift for her - joke! because she is all what i have said....and more!

love you sis!

ate maan
(she's the only one who gets to call me "ate", ok?)

thought for the day

i'd like to share the Lord's message for me today:

"When we live lives that are pleasing before the Lord, godly lives, righteous lives, we may always be assured that no matter where our steps take us, we have been led there by the Lord God Himself"

on mothers

It’s going to be Mother’s Day soon and I’d like to talk about mothers. . . well, my mother in particular. It used to hurt to talk about her even three years after her death. It still does hurt but now I smile more often in remembrance. I guess it has got something to do with the healing I experienced in Hawaii. And as part of my healing process, I thought I’d talk about her (I hope you don’t mind that I’m involving you in my healing process).

I wish every one of my friends (and even virtual strangers) got the chance to meet her. She was fun and funny without meaning to be! Don’t get me wrong – she was quite strict in her Catholic policies with me and my sister. That’s why we (ok, just me) had to be creative about our social (a.k.a. love) lives.

She was also quite an achiever. She never failed to remind us, i guess as a form of motivator, that she was a summa cum laude (I’m not even sure I spelled it right), a scholar, master’s degree holder and PhD of UP (for her there was no better school), and of course a member of UP’s honor society, the Pi Gamma Mu. She's a tough act to follow. So I guess I didn’t even try. She must have wondered many times in her life if we were her children (ok, again, just me)…. she couldn’t fathom why I didn’t have the heart to complete the few remaining units of the master’s degree I wasn’t trying to pursue. If I didn't have her nose, she'd probably declare me a lost and found case.

But she still had her many blooper/funny moments. One time, while she was writing one of her books (did I mention that she authored books, short stories, plays, etc.?) she tried learning to use the computer. When she got stalled with some sort of problem, she called for help. Over the phone, my cousin spelled out instructions – press “Esc” key – done; then press “Enter” – easy enough; then hit the spacebar. My mom went blank “What spacebar? What space? Where is that bar?” She was getting panicky and frustrated. My cousin said it’s the key at the bottom with “spacebar” on it. My mother was short of screaming when she said “What spaaaaacebaaaaar! There is noooooo spaaaacebaaar!” And true enough, there was, and is, no “spacebar” written on the keyboard...or any keyboard for that matter.

I loved and admired mom’s service and love of God and the church. She and my dad were both daily mass goers and were leaders in various religious orgs. My mom had many friends and they were just as hilarious. One time, while on an outing in Pangasinan with some of her friends from church, they were praying the rosary on a boat while island hopping in Hundred Islands. Their prayer went like this: “Hail Mary, full of grace – hey, look, that’s beautiful! … the Lord is with you, blessed are you – wow! Did you see that over there? ….among women and blessed is the – hey! Hey! Hey! (pointing at God knows what). I don’t even know if they finished praying the rosary! They were a blast!

And she was also my number 1 “broker”. She’d be sitting beside a stranger in a lounge or plane or airport and after awhile they’d be friends and swapping stories…and she’d be “selling” me and asking if the new friend had a son who could just be right for me.

God I miss her! I miss arguing with her. I miss going to the mall and watching two movies in one day with her. I miss her friendship. There wouldn’t be anymore fun times and blooper moments with her. I wish … that I had more time with her…that I told her I loved her more often…that I took better care of her…that I listened more…that I was a better daughter. Life with mom was too short…but I’m so grateful and blessed for that time.

For those of you who still have mothers with you, I envy you. Express your love for your moms not just on her birthday or on mother’s day but everyday. I envy my sister and all those brave souls who are not afraid to voice out and express their love. They don’t mind if the loved one doesn’t say the words back. I asked my sister once why she says it all the time. She simply said: “I don’t know what will happen today. There might not be a next time.”

So don’t wait until the next time.... it might be too late (like maybe I did). There might not be a next time. So MYMP (make your mama proud) and give her a big hug and thank her and tell her you love her. She deserves all that.

(Advance) Happy Mother's Day to you mothers and to your mothers.

filipinos abroad - maui experience (3rd installment)

Hi prenships! Here’s the 3rd installment of my maui experience series (hope you're not sick of it yet).

Before I went to Hawaii, I had thought that the art of wearing a flower behind the ear and wearing floral shirts and dresses were just cultural or traditional thingy much like our Filipiniana dresses and exquisitely designed barong tagalogs ( I mean I don’t know about you, but I only see Filipinianas worn during cultural or special events like weddings). But I was wrong… the locals in Hawaii wore floral dresses and gowns and shirts all the time.

And the art of wearing a flower behind the ear? I thought it was just that – art …as in “ka-artehan”. But the women wore it and I found it lovely and fascinating. So I started wearing a flower behind my ear whenever possible. I first wore a flower behind my right ear. But my hair kept getting in the way and falling all over the flower, eventually covering it all up.

So I started wearing a flower behind my left ear.

I thought I looked cool (and sometimes funny) and blended in with the locals. Sure I did but wearing it behind my left ear was a BIG mistake!!! I didn’t know that wearing it meant something… on the left ear, it means you are married, engaged or with someone; on the right ear you are free. Gosh! Now at least I have something to blame for my lack of “hunting” success in Hawaii …hehehe. It was fun though….like playing dress-up.

Incidentally, let me tell you my realization that we Filipinos are so Filipinos more so when we’re abroad (and for those who’ve been abroad, especially in the US of A, you know what I’m talking about). I mean, you can spot a Filipino a mile away in an airport. How? She’d be standing beside four balikbayan boxes…at least. I was in Hawaii for more than 2 weeks and I didn’t think I would need one, right? Well, I was stubborn enough not to put my stuff in a balikbayan box and I ended up with two pieces of broken luggage…as in one luggage lost two of its wheels and broke its handle (that’s how heavy my stuff was) while the other one…well you just have to see it. So heed to the wisdom of using a balikbayan box.

Most Filipinos hate the sun, don't you agree?. I probably stood out in Hawaii….because while everyone else was basking in the sun, I was under a tree or shade. And if I had to walk some distance to go to a store or a scenic spot, I’d go running like my life depended on it. People probably thought I was crazy (well, they wouldn’t be far off their guess).

And while we were on a beach, my “tita” and I started collecting whitish smooth round just-the-right-size rocks. Right-size rocks for what you ask? What else, for use as scrub in the shower! (Oh you!)

And that’s another thing – we call everybody tito or tita. The Filipinos is one big family!

And I guess we’re the only race in the planet that says “Excuse excuse” when we have to pass in front of the TV or between people. With matching bowed heads and clasped hands. I love it that we’re so courteous.

TFC. I don’t watch teleserye in Manila…I get to watch it (and several times a day at that) when I’m in the US! What else is there to say?

And of course the CR (comfort room). One time, I badly needed to “go” and of course, in my condition I forgot they called CR by a different name (or is it us that calls it by a different name). So I asked where the CR was. The lady looked incredulously and said “What CR?” I looked at her just as incredulously with an expression that said “duh!”

You just gotta love being a Filipino!

my super-duper-extra-mini feeding program

Since joining bo sanchez’ kerygma family, I’ve been receiving inspirational messages, the most recent of which says “focus on how you can impact the world with God’s love.” And I was inspired to share this…. (again, please bear with my looooong sharing)

I’ve always heard people say “how can I make a difference in this world?” I, myself, have asked that very question. I mean I’m not in a position of power or wealth or influence to make life-changing laws or build schools or houses or donate large sums of money. Nor do I have the inclination (at least I don’t think so) to organize fund raising or charity events. That’s why I admire and love my sister for her penchant and drive to organize “parties” for the lolos and lolas at the home for the aged or at the orphanage. Along with her husband, they shell out some pretty mean hard-earned money to give the lolos and lolas a hearty lunch (sometimes with merienda to boot), some good time and loot bags (God bless them!). Family (including myself) and friends do give what we can or help out at these events. But this doesn’t seem to be enough…at least for me.

So how can I make a difference? There’s this bookstore in the mini mall in our village that I frequent during weekends. In one of my visits to the store, I noticed this old lady in shabby clothes sitting by the sidewalk where I parked my car. One look and you’d know she’s a beggar…but as I watched her, I noticed that she didn’t hold out her hand or ask people to beg for whatever. If people gave her coins or food, she graciously thanked them. I felt compassion for this gracious lady and I went back to the mini-mall to buy some food at the grocery.

It started out with a sandwich or bread or biscuits and a bottle of water, just enough for a meal, or two if she stretched it that far. I regularly went back every weekend and the groceries grew from a day’s worth to a few days’ (maybe even a week’s) worth of goodies. This has been going for months and I called this my super-duper-extra-mini feeding program. I realized that what I can do need not change the whole world….just someone’s world. It can start with just one.

I never shared this with anyone before lest people think I’m being such a goody-goody or that I might lose the merit of the service. But now I believe that if, with this sharing, I can move just one person to do the same thing or make a friend re-think his/her priorities or inspire someone to act with compassion, then I have helped change someone else’s world.

It need not be an old shabby lady…it could be a friend in need of someone to listen, or a family who needs forgiveness or an officemate who needs understanding, or a stranger who needs a smile…it just starts with one. So let’s make a difference and impact someone’s world with God’s love…now!